Too little too late
by DSISandraPullman39
Summary: Now though with a single grumpy statement he'd summed up what was wrong with their relationship and always would be. Ultimately she would always be less important than whatever he had going on.
1. Chapter 1

**Too little too late**

**Disclaimer:-** Don't own them just borrowing!

**Episode:- **None

**Pairing:- **Robbie/Laura

**Rating:-** M

**Achieve:- ** **http(:/) . /group/rebeccafrontlewisffarchive/**

**Summary:- **Now though with a single grumpy statement he'd summed up what was wrong with their relationship and always would be. Ultimately she would always be less important than whatever he had going on.

**Author's Note:- ** This is my first multi-part Robbie/Laura fic so I hope it's ok it's in answer to Gee's challenge to write something inspired by the lyric line "We don't have tomorrow only yesterday." Rated for possible sexual content in later chapters (though frankly I have no idea how this is going to end so I don't know!) enjoy and reviews would be lovely!

"Thanks Liz leave it and I'll finish up you get yourself home." Laura Hobson smiled watching as her morgue assistant left closing the outer door behind her before turning her attention back to the computer screen. The heading at the top of the email stood out like it was written in neon lights instead of plain black text and the content felt as explosive as it was interesting. When she's first seen the Trinity College Dublin tag on the email she'd assumed it was her usual yearly invitation to the forensic pathology conference or at most a request that she give a guest lecture at the event as she had done in the past. What she hadn't expected was what it actually said and now as she read it again the letters blurring together slightly she couldn't decide how she felt about it.

Her best friend had been working at Trinity for years, since not long after they qualified and loved it. Years before when she'd first taken the job in Oxford, Sira had wanted her to move there instead and she'd promised to consider it once her one year temporary contract in the city was finished. That had been 15 years ago and yet she'd never once considered leave Oxford in all that time. At first it had been all about the job, for years the diversity of the cases she'd been working and the fact that she really did feel like she was making a difference. For the last decade though it had been something else entirely keeping her from making a move, something that now was praying on her mind making it impossible to reply to the email. For almost a decade the reason she stayed in Oxford, the reason she did most things if she was honest, had been Robbie Lewis and she wasn't sure if that was enough anymore.

Trinity were offering her exactly what she'd envisaged for her life by the time she reached her late forties. Years before when she'd imagined her future she'd seen it going just as it was. Practicing for 20 years, building up her reputation then a teaching post somewhere that allowed her to still get he hands dirty but also meant she didn't have to get called out at all hours of the day and night to crime scenes. The problem was that in that picture there'd been a husband or partner, maybe even kids and that had never happened. She'd never found her prince charming but she had always been sure she had come close to doing so when she met Robbie.

At first she'd been willing to accept that while she was sure he cared for her too he wasn't ready to move on, that the spirit of his late wife was still hanging too heavy in the air and it would take time for him to get over that loss. Now thought with almost 15 years having passed since Val Lewis's death she had come close to giving up on more than one occasion. She'd found herself wondering if things were ever going to change and she couldn't help but wonder if somebody somewhere was trying to tell her with the offer of a full time teaching post so far away that even she would have to accept their chance had passed.

Shutting down the computer she sighed heavily switching off the lights and heading out of the morgue toward her car. Stopping at the junction at the end of the street she knew she should turn left, go home and think the offer over while having a long soak in the bath with a very large glass of wine. She knew that it was a decision only she could make yet she ignored that simple common sense option and turned right heading in the direction of the station and toward him. She knew he'd still be there, he suffered from the same inability to switch off as she did most of the time and the case he was working was complicated and needed time so there was no way he'd have locked off. Maybe if she could suggest they go for a drink or have dinner and told him what was going on her would tell her not to go. Maybe it would be the jump start their relationship needed or maybe he'd tell her she should go for it then she'd know there was no hope for them and could leave knowing that she'd done everything she could to get them together,

"Hey James is he still inside?" She smiled as she got out of the car at the station and saw Robbie's young sergeant coming out of the main door.

"Yeah he is but if you take my advice you'll stay well clear he's like a bear with a sore bloody head. All I said was maybe he should go home and look at it all again in the morning with fresh eyes and he blew a gasket." He grumbled shaking his head again as she smiled sadly.

"You know what he's like when he'd got his teeth into something I'll see if I can persuade him to take a break."

"I wouldn't if you value your life but good luck anyway." James sighed leaving her standing by the door seriously considering turning back. If James was right was right tonight may not be the right time to speak to him but then again she'd dealt with a grumpy Lewis more times than she cared to remember and survived. If he really did need a distraction though maybe helping her make such an important decision would be it.

"I just met James outside trying to reattach his nose to his face since you bit it off." She said cheerily as she reached the small office he and James shared and leaned against the door frame watching him shuffle papers around the desk.

"Yeah well he needs to man up just because he's a genius doesn't mean he knows how to deal with a case this complicated he needs to realise this isn't a nine to five job and develop a bit of staying power." He snapped not bothering to look up as he scanned the witness statement in his hand.

"That's not fair Robbie you know as well as I do that James considers this a 24 hour a day job and he'll probably spend the rest of the night going over the case at home he just knows you need to take a step back sometimes to be able to see the wood for the trees." She replied beginning to wish she'd heeded James's warning and not bothered coming in at all,

"I'm quite capable of knowing when I need a break myself. What are you doing here anyway was there something you needed? Have you got the tox-screen for me?"

"No like I told you earlier it'll be tomorrow at the earliest I was wondering if you had time for a drink and maybe something to eat. Something's come up and I wanted to talk about it."

"Is it to do with the case?"

"Well no it's personal but I could do with hearing your opinion."

"Laura are you joking man? I'm up to my eyes here whatever it is I'm sure you'll make the right choice but right now nothing is as important as this case and I really need to get back to it without any distractions." Robbie replied glancing up only briefly as he spoke then turning the chair he was in to face the small TV screen on the wall behind him pressing the play button on the CCTV footage and leaving her feeling like she'd just been dismissed.

Walking quickly through the station back to the car she tried to fight back the tears that were threatening to engulf her managing to hold it together long enough to get to her care and close the door before they escaped. She'd really hoped that they'd sit down and talk about the offer she'd been made and he'd be shocked into action by the thought of losing her. Now though with a single grumpy statement he'd summed up what was wrong with their relationship and always would be. Ultimately she would always be less important than whatever he had going on. The issue of his wife may have gone but now there was always something else. A case he couldn't let go of, something going on with his children, his latest disagreement with James or the way Jean had irritated him next. Whatever it was she would always be last on his priority list and in the end that was why she knew not only should she take the Dublin job but that she had to. So long as she stayed there she'd always be waiting for that to change and it never would she knew that now so the decision was made for her. When she got home she'd email the college and accept the job then start the process of saying goodbye to Oxford and to him.


	2. Chapter 2

**** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1**

**Too little too late 2/?**

Driving through the city toward her home Laura wiped away angry tears trying to focus on the road. She couldn't believe she'd been so stupid it had been a decade of the same crap, the same roller coaster, the same moments when he seemed to never want to leave her side then moments when he treated her like he was appalled by the thought they might love each other and have a future.

"Pull yourself together Laura what did you expect? He's not going to suddenly declare his undying love and you'll live happily ever after. This is the real world not a bloody Disney cartoon." She snapped angrily pulling into her driveway and slamming the car door as she headed inside. Throwing her bag and coat in the hallway she was about to start running a very deep bath and pour herself a very large glass of wine when the phone rang stopping her in her tracks. For a second she considered letting the machine get it but then the little voice in the back of her head chirped up reminding her that it could be Robbie. For a split second she actually convinced herself that it was him and that he'd realised he'd been unkind and was calling to apologise and suggest they meet up. "Hello….Robbie?"

"No last time I checked I was still Sira. Jesus Laura what age are you I thought we'd all grown out of answering the phone expecting it to be a guy years ago!"

"Sira; sorry I was expecting…actually I wasn't expecting I was hoping it was someone else. Hi." She sighed heading for the kitchen having abandoned the idea of a bath to go with her wine and pouring a glass anyway.

"Laura you're not still pining after that tosser are you? How long as it been? 15 years or something?"

"Ten."

"Ten years and he can't get his fucking finger out and realise what he's missing?" Sira snapped the exasperation in her tone making Laura cringe slightly. She'd had more than one conversation with her oldest friend over the years about Robbie and the non-existent relationship they had. She had promised a few months earlier, on a weekend trip to Dublin, that she was going to give up and move on and now she could almost see Sira rolling her eyes on the other side of the line.

"I know and I have tried, it doesn't matter now anyway I thought when I told him about the job offer over there he might realise he had to do something or might realise what he was going to lose."

"But he didn't? What a surprise. Laura when are you going to realise you could spend the rest of your life waiting for Robbie fucking Lewis and all that would happen is that you would be very old at the end of it and very alone."

"it wasn't that he didn't, more that he didn't give me a chance to tell him. He's working on a big case at the minute he'd distracted and it probably wasn't the best time to try to talk to him." Laura sighed not really sure why she was defending him. Not ten minutes before she'd been thinking the exact same things. She couldn't help the fact that when someone else pointed out the obvious issues with him and them as a potential couple it made her defensive. She knew all the problems around their mixed up, almost but not quite relationship and she didn't need others to point them out to her.

"And tomorrow it'll be another big case, or an issue with one of his kids or his grandson, or he'll have decided he's not over the death of his wife or some other shite. It's not going to change Laura please tell me you've realised that! I thought when you were over last time we'd gine through all this and you'd decided it was time to move on."

"I did and I've tried but….."

"But he still throws you a bone e very now and again and draws you back in? What was it this time? A quiet drink? A meal? A promise that you were the person he needs?" Sira continued her irritation reminding Laura how ridiculous it all looked from the outside. What no one could understand the way she could was the way those moments fed her need for him. When he let her in even for an evening or a moment it reminded her why she loved him to begin with. It brought home why she'd fallen in love with him and threw a little more fuel on the fire of hope which was currently just dying embers.

Staring at the white board completely covered with information and evidence that was telling them nothing Robbie threw the marker onto his desk and sank into the chair. There was a key to this case that he was missing, there had to be, but with James angrily sulking at home he wasn't sure he was going to find it that night, Closing his eyes and leaning back on the mock leather of his seat he let his mind wander to Laura's visit earlier. At the time he'd been so focused on the witness interview to take much notice of what she was saying and now as he turned the visit over in his mind he felt his stomach knot painfully.

"You're a bloody bastard at times Lewis." He muttered to himself sighing as he remembered the look on her face when she'd said she needed to talk. Over the years she'd dropped everything on more than one occasion when he'd needed her. She'd been there for him in the worst and the best of moments of his life and he knew he'd been less than solicitous in returning the favour.

He kept telling himself that he was running out of time, that even though he loved her and was as sure as he could be that she loved him, she wouldn't wait forever. He wanted her, he wants a future and a life with her that included coming home to her each night yet he kept messing it up.

Reaching for the phone on his desk he dialled her mobile number determined to make it up to her for his earlier lack of consideration. Listening while it rang he sighed as it finally stopped and the message telling him she couldn't take the call filled his ear. Hanging up he dialled again this time calling her land line and then angrily slamming the receiver back down when he heard it go straight to BT answer.

When there things happened, when he tried to contact her and failed, he always felt a mixture of disappointment and anger. He could see images in his head of her making arrangements to meet someone else. He could imagine her meeting an old flame or one of her many admirers and telling them what she wanted to tell him. He could see them listen and reassuring her in the way he should have done. Those were the images he knew would haunt him now for the rest of the night and he only had himself to blame. She'd come to him and he'd turned his back on her, literally as well as figuratively, and he'd have to pay for that.

Getting up again he stared at the whiteboard again his frustration growing. It was almost 10pm and rather than having a meal with the woman he loved, listening to what was bothering her and trying to help he was standing alone staring at evidence that still wasn't talking to him. Grabbing his jacket he turned out the lights in the office and headed for the car park determined to find her and apologise hoping that it would be enough.

"Sira I know it's ridiculous and I know you're right but it doesn't make it any easier to just give up. I've spent so long hoping that things would change that it's hard to just give up on that. It feels like it's all been for nothing, like I wasted a decade of my life by just letting go now." Laura said quietly draining the wineglass in her hand and heading for the kitchen to refill it.

"So you'd rather waste another ten years?" Sira asked the desire to shake some sense into her friend obvious even through the phone line. "Did you look at the job offer? It's everything you've ever wanted you get to teach and still be a consultant on active gaurde cases, you always wanted that and Oxford was never meant to be forever. Hell it wasn't even supposed to be for one year let alone ten. Don't pass up the one thing you've always wanted for some guy who will never give you what you want from him anyway."

"I'm not going to give up on the job Sira I've already decided to accept it. I gave him a chance tonight and he didn't even want to talk to me. Had you not called I'd have already emailed them to say I was accepting. It doesn't mean I don't hate the fact that he will never know how great we could have been together." Laura replied setting her wine down and about to sit again when she heard the doorbell. "Look there's someone at the door I've got to go but I'll see you soon I'll have to come over soon to discuss terms and look for someone to live."

"Ok but don't you dare chicken out of this Laura Hobson. See you soon." Sira replied as she disconnected the call and made her way through the house to the door.

"Robbie? What happened to the case and how you couldn't possibly leave it?" She said quietly the surprise in her voice obvious as he shrugged.

"I shouldn't have spoken to you like I did I'm sorry can I come in?" Robbie asked entering the house as she stood aside. Watching him head straight for the sitting room she felt her stomach tighten and her pulse race. She didn't know what had changed or if it would make any difference to her decision but the embers of that fire she'd been telling her friend about were suddenly glowing white with heat again and she wasn't sure what that meant for her potential new job nor their relationship.


	3. Chapter 3

**** For authors notes, disclaimer etc. see chapter 1**

**Too little too late 3/?**

"Its fine Robbie honestly you're up to your eyes I should have listened to James when he advised me not to go anywhere near you." Laura sighed taking the bottle of wine that Robbie held out and setting it on the table before going to the kitchen to get another glass.

"Yeah well I shouldn't have spoken to him the way I did either he's not answering his phone so he must be seriously pissed off at me."

"Nah he's probably at Jean's and has blown off enough steam by now to have forgotten how irritated he is at you."

"I still can't get used to them being a couple I still think of him going home at night to nothing but his guitar." Robbie laughed taking the glass from her hand as he sat on the sofa and noted that rather than sitting with him as she usually would have she took up position on the arm chair on the other side of the coffee table instead. "It's this case it's getting under my skin I know we're only a few steps from the key that will crack the thing wide open I just can't find it yet."

"Do you want to talk about it? Maybe if you tell me what you have talking about it to someone not right in the middle of it all will make it all a bit clearer."

"No, I came to find out what it was that you needed to talk about, I was a bastard I should have listened but I'm here now."

"It's fine I…"

"Laura it obviously was important enough to you that you were prepared to brave my mood in spite of James's warnings I'm sorry ok but I promise I'm here to listen now."

"Well it's just that…..well you know how I always to TCD to their forensics conference and normally give a talk and stay with Sira for a couple of days." Laura began, she couldn't believe that now he was here and seemed open to talking about what was going on she was stalling but suddenly the idea of telling him when she seemed to have made up her mind was more terrifying than the idea of taking the job had been half an hour before.

"Yeah that must be coming up soon you're not nervous are you? You go through this every year you panic for weeks then get on the plane and when you come back you're full of how great it all is and you love catching up with your friend." Robbie replied his confusion increasing as he watched her shoulders sag a little and she stared at the floor. "Laura pet you know your job inside out there are other forces that come to you for consultancy advice I've always said you were wasted here that you should be branching out and giving more lectures and stuff you'll…"

"I've been offered a full time teaching post in Dublin with some consultancy work on the side. It would mean leaving here obviously and relocating there permanently and I have to let them know by the end of the week." She interrupted the words tumbling out on top of each other as she tried to pick up any reaction however minor to her revelation. "I was talking to Sira on the phone before you arrived she put my name forward for it they haven't even got to the stage of advertising the post yet. They're giving me first refusal."

"Wow that's some opportunity, when did they get in touch?" Robbie asked feeling his chest tighten as he tried to take in what she was saying. He'd convinced himself long ago that he had all the time in the world to tell her how he felt and make up for the years he'd spent stalling and backing away from the fact he was in love with the woman in front of him. He'd always assumed they would both be there indefinitely and now he was starting to realise how misguided he'd been in that belief. He'd just said it himself, she was in demand as it was even while she had to travel to give the lectures and demonstrations she did at conferences around the country, in truth he should have realised it was only a matter of time before one of those departments decided they wanted her permanently.

"Last night I got the email and didn't really read it to begin with I assumed when I saw it was from them that it was about the conference but when I opened it this morning it was the offer. I'll have to go over and talk about terms and scout out the area I mean I've only ever stayed in a hotel in Dublin and seen Sira's house in the suburbs. She's got Al and the kids so she needs to live out there I'm not sure suburban life would be my thing though I'm too used to living in the city I think I'd be bored unless I was at the centre of things."

"You sound like you've decided already and I don't blame you it's a huge opportunity you'd be mad to turn it down it's not like you have ties over here."

"No…..no I suppose I don't." Laura replied trying to sound light and like she actually agreed with him as the startling realisation of what he was saying felt like it had landed so heavily on her shoulders that it was pushing her into the cushions of the seat. Even though she'd assured Sira that she no longer expected things to change and even though she'd convinced herself that he would never make the grand declaration she was hoping for the fact that it was now indisputable seemed to have put the final nail in the coffin of her belief in him and in them. "Anyway look I appreciate you coming over and everything but I didn't realise how tired I was until I stopped and sat down would you mind if we…"

"Of course…look I should get back to at least thinking about this case, sorry again about earlier but it's great news for you, we'll….you know celebrate properly or something soon." Robbie said quietly draining his wine glass and getting up as she followed him out into the hall and held the door open for him. "It's great, I'm pleased for you, you deserve it."

"Thanks." Laura sighed watching as she reached his car before closing the door and leaning back against it feeling the tears she'd only just been managing to hold back come in a flood.

Pulling out into the street Robbie drove a few meters away from the house before pulling over to the side of the road and staring in the rear view mirror. He still couldn't believe what he'd been told, he couldn't believe the way she'd said it like it had to be a forgone conclusion and felt his heart break just a little at the regret he was sure he'd seen in her eyes.

"Why the hell didn't you just tell her that she did have something to stay for, that you loved her and you didn't want her to go you bloody idiot." He shouted slapping the palm of his hand on the steering wheel as he spoke. He had to fight every urge in his body not to throw the car into reverse and go back and tell her that he didn't want her to go. Stand on her door step if need be and shout through the letter box until she realised he was sorry and that he would make her happy she didn't need to travel to Dublin to find some purpose or new challenge he'd be challenge enough for anyone. Throwing the car back into gear he pulled out onto the road instead heading in the direction of home where he could continue to berate himself for what an idiot he'd been while waking his way through the bottle of scotch he kept for those nights when he knew nothing but complete oblivion would get him through.


End file.
